Annis and Orland, Venus and Mars

One of my favorite family jokes, which always falls flat, is "Grandpa was from Mars, Grandma was from Venus." My children smile uncertainly. The grandkids look confused.

"Don't you remember the book that was all the craze a few years ago? Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus?"

Blank stares. Finally somebody will say, "Oh. Ha-ha."

Mars and Venus are both ghost towns now. Annis Hubbard's mother Jane took a homestead in Venus in 1886. Orland Carver's family moved to nearby Mars a few years before that, in 1877. Venus is marked on the map below. Mars is just a little bit southeast, in Royal. (If Royal doesn't show up, make the map a little larger by clicking on the "+" sign.)

Grandpa

Orland William Carver Sr. was born in Wisconsin on Nov 20, 1869. We've heard he was born in Janesville, but La Valle, Sauk County, Wisconsin seems more likely based on the family's location in 1870. His parents were Cyrus Hoyt Carver and Mary Jennette Allen.

Grandpa was the youngest of eight children: Seven boys and one girl. My father thought the girl's name might be Nettie; however, an unknown person on Familysearch.org has it listed as Roxy. This girl died at age 11. All of the boys lived to adulthood. They were: Dorr, Orin, Loren, Oliver, Donley, Barton and Orland.

Notes on spelling: Mary's middle name may have been spelled Jeanette, Jenet, Janet, or Jennette. Dorr's name has been spelled Dorr, Dor, and Door and in one record, David. Donley has also been spelled Donaley.

The family moved from Wisconsin to Nebraska with a group of other settlers. Among them was a man named Samuel Haskin, who appears to have been a close family friend. The Haskins and Carvers took homesteads near each other.

As they reached adulthood, some of the Carver boys also took homesteads in the Mars area, Grandpa included. Homesteading in Nebraska was not an easy life for any of these families, and over the years many moved away.

Grandpa and ? and Alta, maybe

My dad's early notes say that Grandpa's first marriage was to Grandma, but later he updated those notes to indicate a previous marriage to an unknown lady, and that they had one daughter named Alta. I haven't found any information about this marriage or child.

Grandpa and Grandma

I haven't seen any confirmed photos of Grandpa. Dad describes him as stocky, white, medium height, brown hair, blue eyes. Good luck getting a sketch artist to draw that for you! But since I don't have a likeness of his face, I'm going to show you the next best thing, a photo of his handwriting.

This is from Florence Sholes' marriage license. I think it says something like, ”I give my consent Miss Florence and Mr Carey to be married. Orland W. Carver.”  Since the sides are cut off and his handwriting is not quite as pretty as Dad's, it is hard to decipher. Below that is Grandma's handwriting.

We don't have any family stories about how Grandpa and Grandma met, but here is my theory. One of the Haskin girls, Mercedes, married Grandma’s brother, Edmund Hubbard. I imagine that at some point Annis came by to visit her brother, and there was Orland, neighbor man, with his keen good looks and stunning penmanship.

Maybe they met at one of those dances the Carvers liked to host. He winked. She blushed. They danced. And then they got married, proving once and for all that poor Grandma's man-picker was in serious need of repair.

I want to say good things about Grandpa, I really do. Here are some things.

• He used to rock the kids to sleep and sing them hymns.
• He fathered children who grew up to be good people.
• My father loved him.
• Without him, I would not exist.

OK. That's all I've got. I'm just not sure what was going on with him, but it seems like life started out well enough but went downhill over the years. Whatever was wrong, Grandpa, I'm sorry for you and wish your life had been better. More than that, I'm sorry for your family.

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Florence Sholes and Clarence Carey

Updated 6/21/18 to include Census and Draft Registration Information

As mentioned previously, Annis Hubbard and Charles Sholes had one daughter, Florence Octavia Sholes, born on December 31, 1890. I don't know how much time she spent with her biological father. Chances are she didn't know him, but that is conjecture.

• Her parents were married in 1889, and Annis filed for divorce in 1895. 
• The divorce papers say that Charles had been gone for more than five years, I think. The handwriting gets really hard to decipher. 
• Florence was 6 at the time the divorce was filed.

April 1906 -- O'Neill, Nebraska
At age 16 Florence married a 27-year-old from Iowa named Clarence Dean Carey. Don't lose track of Uncle Clarence. He just keeps showing up in this family. We name a Carver boy after him. We marry him, twice. And we have a lot of children with him.

May 1910 – Washington, Knox, Nebraska 
The census shows the family living in Washington, Knox, Nebraska.

1910; Census Place: Washington, Knox, Nebraska; Roll: T624_849; Page: 4A; Enumeration District: 0127; Image: 918; FHL Number: 1374862.

Name:	Clarence D Carey
Age in 1910:	31
Birth Year:	1879
Birthplace:	Iowa
Home in 1910:	Washington, Knox, Nebraska
Race:	White
Gender:	Male
Relation to Head of House:	Head
Marital Status:	Married
Spouse's Name:	Florence Carey
Father's Birthplace:	Iowa
Mother's Birthplace:	Germany
Household Members:	Name Age Clarence D Carey 31 Florence Carey 19 Laverne Carey 3 Esther Carey 1

Jan 1920 – Mullen, Boyd, Nebraska
By 1920 the family has moved to Mullen, Boyd, Nebraska. This is about 16 miles east of Spencer, where Orland and Annis are living in 1910.

1920; Census Place: Mullen, Boyd, Nebraska; Roll: T625_980; Page: 2B; Enumeration District: 25; Image: 524.

Name / Age / Birth Year:	Clarence D Carey / 40 / abt 1880
Birthplace:	Iowa
Home in 1920:	Mullen, Boyd, Nebraska
Race / Gender:	White / Male
Marital Status / Spouse	Married / Florence O Carey
Household Members:	Name Age Clarence D Carey 40 Florence O Carey 30 William L Carey 12 Esther I Carey 11 Marvin E Carey 9 Richard H Carey 7 Harold E Carey 5 Louie G Carey 3 8/12 Mable M Carey 1 4/12  Ida G Carey 0 4/12

Sept 1918 – Bristow, Boyd, Nebraska
Per Clarence’s WWI draft registration, the family is in Bristow, Boyd, Nebraska, where Clarence is farming.

May 1921 -- Florence dies in Bristow
I feel like Aunt Florence was probably exhausted all of the time. She had nine kids in 14 years. Shortly after the birth of child number nine, on May 22, 1921, she died of peritonitis.

After her death, Clarence and the children went to stay with Annis and her second husband, Orland Carver, in Norfolk, Nebraska. They put up a tent in the back yard and camped out while Clarence tried to figure out what to do.

It must have been very hard for a low-income farmer/laborer with that many children to figure out how to care for them and make a living at the same time. Annis helped, but she was not in good health. Some of the children ended up in foster care or were adopted out.

From Dad's Journal

Here is an excerpt from my father's journal about this family.

"Florence had died at the age of thirty-three or thirty-four, at the birth of her ninth child. I could scarcely believe it -- nine children in fourteen years.

"Eleven days later, a 1914 Overland full of Careys came to a halt in our driveway. The kids probably didn't pile out according to age; and I'm not too sure whether fourteen-year-old William LaVern was even along. I think he probably came later by bus or train.

"Be that as it may, twelve-year-old Esther was there. A pretty child she was, and almost petite. She had probably been holding the baby during the ride, although ten-year-old Marvin or eight-year-old Richard could have -- or perhaps even seven-year-old Harold. However, it would hardly have been wise to delegate this chore to five-year-old Louis Gustave (Gussy), four-year-old Mabel, or two-year-old Ida Grace, known to us as Gracie.

"Esther and Dick could have passed for twins, had he been big enough. The rest of the family had lighter colored hair -- more on the brownish order -- and it wasn't wavy like Esther's and Dick's. Neither was Vern's. As for that tiny bundle they called "Clareton" (Clareton Lee) I just couldn't tell whom he looked like. I remember well, however, that Clarence, his father, took Clareton from Esther's arms, carried him to my mother, who stood waiting in the doorway of our three-room house, and placed him in her arms.

"'Here Grandma', he said smiling, 'take him. He's yours.'

Dad goes on to explain that between the Carvers and Careys, there were 16 people in a three-room house. Dad and his brother Ashton were already sleeping out back in a tent due to lack of room. The solution? Grandpa and Clarence emptied out the tent and created double bunk beds (full sized beds that several children could cram into at once.)

"Poor Mom! Can you imagine a sick person managing a home with so many children in it? I don't know how she managed to cook for such a gang, even with the help of Esther and Sina. Drainboards? Sinks? Faucets? Not in our house. We simply washed in one dishpan, rinsed in another, and somehow stacked the dishes on the table to drain.

"The family made do like this most of the summer, until Clarence Carey found a house for rent. Eventually the government stepped in and put several of his children in fostor homes, much to his distress. The baby, however, stayed with Grandma.

"When Grandma was hospitalized, Sina quit school to watch Clareton. She did her best to care for him, but after Grandma died and Grandpa left home, it was more than she could do."

I'm not sure of the timing of all of this. Grandma died in 1925 but I don't know when she was hospitalized. Dad's sister Sina Belle Carver would have been about 14 when Florence died and 17 when Annis died. Eventually Sina married Clarence, but that's a story for another time.

The Carey Children 

William Lavern (Vern) Carey 1907
I see Vern in the Nebraska area and unmarried in the 1940 census, nothing after that and haven't located any family members.

Esther Irene Carey 1909-1999
Esther helped to raise Clarence's second set of children, if I understand correctly.

Marvin Eldon Carey 1910-2002
Marvin moved to Portland, Oregon. My dad used to go visit him occasionally. I think. Or maybe that was Gus.

Richard H Carey 1913-1943
Richard died fighting in World War II. He is buried in Carthage, Tunisia. He was a private in the 26th Infantry 1st Division.

Harold E Carey (Beed) 1915

Louis Gustav (Gus) Carey 1916-2007
Gus also lived in or visited Portland at some point, at least this is what my vague childhood memory tells me.

Mable Mae Carey (Beed) 1919

Ida Grace Carey (Rowlette) 1920
Ida Grace or possibly Grace L. Uncertain. Her name may have changed when adopted.

Clareton Lee "Buddy" Carey (Rowlette) 1921
As an adult it appears his name is spelled Clair.

After Florence died, Harold and Mable were adopted by the Beed family. Grace and Buddy were adopted by the Rowlette family. I don't know too much more about them at this point but hope to hear more from Carey cousins in the future.

Notes:
The above excerpt from my father's journal is also published in the book "Journal of a Not-So-Perfect Daughter", Chapter 7 "Twisted Trees". Author Nancy Carver Abbott. Publisher Pacific Press Publishing Association. Originally published 1998. Kindle ebook published 2013.

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Books by D. R. Haskin

Dick Haskin is the great, great grandson of Samuel J. Haskin, who was Great Grandpa Cyrus Hoyt Carver's neighbor in Nebraska. They both came to Nebraska from Wisconsin along with a group of other settlers, and in subsequent generations the Carvers and Haskins are tied together via the Hubbard clan. (We conjecture there may have been some Haskin relationships up the line as well, but we haven't been able to pin them down. Conjecture is fun, though.)

Dick lives on the Haskin homestead and has written some books about the history of the area. Cyrus Carver's family is mentioned occasionally in these books. (They build caskets and host dances.) Carver and Hubbard/Haskin family reunions are held on Dick's property (he has set up a campground) and at these reunions he gives tours of where the Carver dugouts and property used to be, the creek, the cemetery, location of the store, and so forth.

Titles: See Dick's Books on Amazon: D. R. Haskin
Surnames: Haskin, Hubbard, Carver, others who lived in the area

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The Carver Family of New England

This book is the most comprehensive I've seen for Carver generations going back to Robert. In the case of my line, it covers Robert down through Oliver. It must have taken a long time to compile.

That being said, it is not perfect. He was working with what he had. He listed two of Oliver’s kids, left two out, and added one (John G. Carver) as a “possibility” that I rather doubt, based on Oliver’s will.

If you can find a copy, it is well worth checking out.

Note: if you have a library card with online access, check the online databases for HeritageQuest. They have an electronic copy of the book. You can also check it out from internetarchives.com (Link below)

Title: The Carver Family of New England 
Author: Clifford Nickles Carver 
Surnames: Carver

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Sally Carlson Family History

Sally is a descendant of Cyrus Hoyt Carver. Cyrus is my great-grandfather: Orland William Carver Jr --> Orland William Carver Sr --> Cyrus Hoyt Carver.

Her website has some excellent photos and family information. In particular, look for pictures of the Carver dugouts and headstones. The family moved from Wisconsin to Nebraska in 1877. The dugouts were the homes that my great uncles lived in while they were helping to build the main house on the homestead in Nebraska.

Title: Sally Carlson Family History 
Surnames: Carver, and in the future possibly Hubbard, Parks, Allen

Plus family lines from other parts of Sally's tree.

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Journal of a Not-so-perfect Daughter

Written in 1996-7, this covers my father's family of origin and includes stories from his journals. If I were writing it now, it would be a completely different book, but isn't that how life always works? 

The ebook version is OK. I wish they had done a better job of editing, particularly in the spots where we switch back and forth between my words and Dad's journal entries, but I'm grateful that they decided to create an ebook.

There are also used paperback copies for about 37 cents, and if you are one of my cousins, send email. I have some in a box in my closet. Free to you, but I need your address. (Valid while supplies last, the next 30 years or so.)  

Note: If you asked me years ago and got no answer, try again.

Title: Journal of a Not-So-Perfect Daughter

Author: Nancy Carver Abbott

Surnames: Carver, Olson, Carey, Park/Parks, Sholes

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Annis Hubbard, Before Orland

Excerpt from journal of Orland William Carver Jr. Portland, Oregon, 1976.

My grandmother, Annis Loiza Hubbard, was born in Vermont in 1869. Her parents were Edmund Wilmot Hubbard Sr. and Cynthia Jane Parks (who went by Jane.) Grandma had two brothers, Edmund Wilmot Hubbard Jr. and Arthur Parks Hubbard. 

Note: My father always spelled her middle name Loiza, with a z. On her birth record it is spelled Loisa, with an s. 

Jane moved the family to Nebraska in 1886, when Annis was 17. By this time Edmund Sr. had passed away, and some of Jane's sisters had already made the move to a place called Venus, Nebraska. If you look on a map, this is just a few miles north of Orchard, near Walnut Grove.

Here is a photo of Grandma. Dad thought she was about four in this picture. I love the Little House in the Big Woods curls, and that serious face. She looks so young and so old, all at once.

Annis Loiza Hubbard, about 1873

This is the only other photo I've ever seen, with her brothers. From what I can gather, Annis was also called Annie. Edmund went by Ed. And Arthur? My dad's generation called him "Uncle P".'

Edmund, Annis, Arthur Hubbard. Before 1925. Probably Nebraska.

We aren't sure when this picture was taken. Grandma died in 1925, so obviously before that. According to those who remember him, Uncle P's idea of dressing up was a clean white shirt and a fresh pair of bib overalls, so this must have been an important event, since he is in a suit.

• Their mother died in 1897, and this looks later than that, so I don't think it's her funeral.
• Is the car a Model T? I'm not a car expert. Model T production started in 1908. This car looks well used, though, not new.
• Grandma’s outfit looks like internet photos of women's wear in the 1910s. But that spans a number of years.
• Best guesses: 1914 for Great Grandpa Cyrus Carver's funeral or 1916 when Annis and family returned to Nebraska for a visit.

Annis Hubbard and Charles Sholes

Grandma married Charles Sholes in Sherman Township, Antelope County, Nebraska on October 9, 1889. She was 20. He was 26.

Somewhere along the way Charles left, and in 1895 Annis filed for divorce on grounds of desertion, and also because he was a man of vicious and vulgar habits. At least that's what the divorce petition says. It may just be something lawyers always put in their paperwork, though. When you hear the memories of Charles' descendants from his 2nd marriage, he is described as loving, gentle, and soft spoken. It’s hard to look back and tell exactly what happened 115 years ago. My father said that the only thing he ever heard Grandma say about Charles was, "We went our separate ways."

One thing that's not hard to tell, he was handsome. Here is a photo, courtesy of his great-granddaughter Sandy Dempsey. The exact date of the photo isn't known, but it's safe to say he looked something like this when he met Grandma.

Charles Eugene Sholes. Est age 21. About 1883. Independence, Iowa.
Courtesy of Sandy Dempsey

Charles was born in Buchanan County, Iowa on May 24, 1862. His parents were Elijah W. Sholes and Sarah Root. This family was still in Iowa in 1880, but by 1885 they are in Verdigris Precinct, Knox County, Nebraska. 

Annis and Charles had one daughter together, Florence Octavia Sholes. Florence was born December 31, 890 in Venus, Knox, Nebraska.
31 DEC 1890 • Venus, Knox, 

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Bill Carver's Journal

Most of my Carver and Hubbard family stories come from my father, Orland William Carver Jr.
After he retired in 1976 he wrote a journal, or really it was more like a book draft with multiple revisions.

He wrote longhand, Palmer method, with ballpoint pens, on college-ruled spiral-bound notebooks. I'm working now to get them all scanned to digital format, because the ballpoint pen is fading fast.

Some of his wording is not entirely politically correct, but it was correct for his time. He grew up in a poor white family near the beginning of the century, and race relations between poor whites and poor people of color were often not good during those times. He doesn't mention this often in his stories, but it does come up occasionally.

Dad researched his topic and interviewed as many family members as he could. He clearly states that he doesn't know exactly where his family was when he was little, particularly during the years when they moved around a lot. He knew where they stayed for periods of time, but not necessarily when. He also remembered or had heard stories about specific incidents, but he didn't always know which incident happened in which location.

He continued to write and revise for 15 years, until his hand became so shaky that he had trouble keeping the pen on the page. Sometimes he wrote multiple versions of certain stories, and the only way I could tell which version was the most recent was by the handwriting. Really shaky? Must be recent.

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Annis Loiza Hubbard Birth Cert 1869.09.23 Middletown Vermont

Description: 
Annis Loiza Hubbard Death Certificate

Source:
Ancestry.com. Vermont, Vital Records, 1720-1908 [database on-line]. Provo, UT, USA: Ancestry.com Operations, Inc., 2013.

State of Vermont. Vermont Vital Records, 1871–1908. New England Historic Genealogical Society, Boston, Massachusetts.

Transcription:
BIRTH-FEMALE P961

Name of Child	Hubbard, Annis Loisa
Date of Birth	1869 Sept 23
Maiden Name of Mother	Jane
Mother's Birthplace	Wells
Mother's Residence	Middletown
Full Name of Father	Edmond Hubbard
Father's Birthplace	Ira
Father's Occupation	Mechanic
Town / Town Clerk	Middletown - Chas B. Vail

Image:

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Annis (Hubbard) Carver Death Cert 1925.11.08 Norfolk Nebraska

Description: 
Annis Loiza Hubbard Death Certificate
​
Source:
Nebraska Health and Human Services

Transcription:

Place of Death	County: Madison    State: Nebr City: Norfolk              No: Verges Sanitarium
Full Name	Anis Carver
Length of Residence	6 yrs
Sex	Female
Color	White
Marital Status	Married
Husband	Orland W. Carver
Date of Birth	Sept 22, 1869
Age	56 years, 1 month, 17 days
Occupation	At Home
Birthplace	Vermont
Name of Father	E.W. Hubbard
Birthplace of Father	Vermont
Name of Mother	Mary Jane Parks
Birthplace of Mother	Vermont
Informant	Orland W. Carver, Norfolk, Nebr
Date of Death	Nov 8, 1925
I Hereby Certify	That I attended deceased from July 9, 1925 to Nov 8, 1925. That I last saw her alive on Nov 8, 1925, and that death occurred, on the date stated above, at 9:20 pm.
Cause of Death	Carcinoma of Rectum
Duration	2 years 4 mos
Burial	Norfolk Neb 11/10, 1925. Johnson and Theuhaus, Undertakers

Image

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Carver Cast of Characters

This is an overview of my Carver line, from Dad through Robert, and perhaps Isaac and James.

Updated 6/21/18 with some notes pertaining to DNA. Numbers in parenthesis indicate notes at the bottom.

Recent Certainties

Orland William Carver Jr 1910-1998
Born in Spencer, Nebraska died in Marietta, Georgia
Married in 1958 at Portland, Oregon to Shirley Anne Olson, 1920-1984
Shirley born in Bowman, North Dakota and died in Topeka, Kansas.

Orland William Carver Sr 1869-1930  
Born in perhaps Janesville, Wisconsin (2). Died in Sioux City, Iowa.
May have married about 1889 to ____.

Married in 1897, probably in Nebraska, to Annis Loiza Hubbard, 1869-1925
Annis born Wells, Vermont died Norfolk, Nebraska.

Annis previous marriage, 9 Oct 1889 to Charles Eugene Sholes, 1862-1939

Cyrus Hoyt Carver 1810-1914
Born in De Kalb, New York and died in Knoxville, Nebraska.
Married about 1840 to Mary Jennette Allen.
Mary born abt 1818 in New York, died abt 1891 in Verdigris, Nebraska.

Distant Probabilities 

Barton Carver abt 1773-1845 (3, 4)
Born in Foster, Rhode Island and died in De Kalb, NY.
Buried at Kendrew Corners Cemetery, De Kalb, NY.

Married in 179? to Cassandana _______. (5)
Cassandana’s birth/death unknown. (6)

Barton married again after 1831, probably in De Kalb, to Esther Weir, 1804-1857. (7)
Esther born in England and died in De Kalb, buried in Kendrew Corners Cemetery.

Oliver Carver 1750-1819
Born in Bridgewater, Massachusetts. Died in Wolcott, New York
Married in 1774 to Mary Perkins, 1750-1830
Mary born in Bridgewater. Died in Wayne County, New York

Joseph Carver 1727-1786
Born in Bridgewater, Massachusetts died in Foster, Rhode Island.
Married in 1746 at Bridgewater to Sarah Hartwell, 1726-1817.
Sarah born in Bridgewater died in Scituate, Rhode Island.

Joseph Carver 1700-1778
Married in 1752 to Elizabeth Snow, 1705-1755 (8)
Both born and died in Plymouth area.

Eleazer Carver 1668-1744
Married in 1695 to Experience Blake Sumner, 1665-1746
Both born and died in Plymouth area.

John Carver 1637-1679
Married in 1658 to Millicent Ford, 1639-1696
Both born and died in Plymouth, Massachusetts area.

Robert Carver 1594-1680 (1)
Married in 1617 in England to Christian Turner, 1596-1658
Both born in England, died in Marshfield, Massachusetts

Distant Possibilities

Isaac Carver 1562-1598
Married in ____ to Catherine _____
Sources list both Isaac and Catherine as being born in England. Isaac apparently died in Holland. Catherine’s place of death is unclear.

James Carver 1527-1627
Lived in Doncaster, Yorkshire, England
Married in 1560 to Catherine _____
Little is known about James and Catherine, but various sources dangle them forth as ancestral possibilities.

Notes
(1) We have links back to Robert via Y-DNA testing of one of Orland Carver Sr's grandsons, as well as a number of links via my autosomnal ancestryDNA test.

Y-DNA is supposed to be particularly useful for paternal lines. We are participating in the Carver project at FTDNA, where they have one paternal line that is thoroughly documented back to Robert. Then other Carver males can take Y-DNA tests and compare themselves to this documented line.

For more information on Y-DNA testing, start with this article: Understanding DNA. It's not really easy to understand, and I would not have a clue without the assistance of the Carver project administrator.

(2) Family stories say Orland Carver was born in Janesville in 1869, but the family is in La Valle in 1870.

(3) Records with De Kalb historian say Barton Carver was 70 at death in April 1845, making birth year about 1775. Gravestone says age 72, which would put his birth around 1773. Parents marriage listed in old records as 1774.

(4) Do not have documentation showing that Cyrus belonged to Barton. There is circumstantial evidence. Cyrus was born in De Kalb, St. Lawrence County in 1810, according to his civil war papers, death certificate, and his obituaries. The only known Carver in St. Lawrence County who was old enough to be fathering children in 1810 is Barton. Additionally, Cyrus named one of his sons Barton and another son Oliver. My ancestry DNA tests also shows links to people who are descended from two of Barton's other children as well as from his siblings.

(5) 1800 census shows Barton and wife with one son under age 10.

(6) Assume Cassandana's death is after 1820 and before 1830 based on census records and some property records.

(7) Esther's previous husband, Benjamin Childs, died in 1831.

(8) MAYFLOWER CONNECTION: Elizabeth is a granddaughter of John Alden of the Mayflower.

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Family of Origin

The rest of my family is at Willamette National Cemetery on top of Mt. Scott near Portland, Oregon. It's the perfect resting spot, with views of Portland, Kelly Butte, Rocky Butte, Mt. Tabor, Mt. Hood, and Mt. Saint Helens.

Back in the day somebody in Portland decided to use acres of prime real estate for cemetery plots. Of course it wasn't prime real estate at the time. It was out in the boondocks on top of a steep hill, and in 1906 it was a lot of work to get your horse and buggy all the way up there.

The steep hill is technically a volcanic butte. It hosts two cemeteries: Willamette National and Lincoln Memorial. I have family in both locations. I didn't care for either cemetery as a child, because it reminded me of dead people and funerals. These days I visit whenever I'm in town. 

Bill, Shirley, David Carver. Willamette National Cemetery. Portland, Oregon

Uncle Ivan

My father was the youngest son of a youngest son, and he didn't get married until he was almost 48. That's how I ended up here in 2016, still more-or-less middle-aged, with a great grandfather who was born in 1810.

Dad was a good-looking fellow, and by all accounts he had a number of lady admirers. When I asked why he waited so long to marry, he told me that he was just particular. He wanted a pretty girl who wasn't ignorant, and while he met many pretty girls in college, they were all much younger. He started college late and then took time out for World War II, so the age difference would have been significant.

Bill Carver, back left. Ivan Whitehouse back right. WWII. Pacific theater.

In the war Dad served with a man named Ivan Whitehouse. That's Dad on the left with the jaunty hat. Ivan is the youngster in the back on the right. Dad and Ivan became very good friends. They were both members of the same religious denomination, Seventh-day Adventist, and shared the conviction that they would not take a life if at all possible. They served as medics and did not carry guns. This was not uncommon for members of this denomination at that time, although it wasn't a religious requirement.

After the war Dad finished college in Lincoln, Nebraska and taught school for a few years in the mid-west. At some point he decided teaching was not for him. Ivan was in Portland, and they had been corresponding over the years. Dad went out for a visit and stayed. Ivan worked at the Portland Sanitarium and Hospital ("The San"). Dad applied for a job there as well.

Middle-Aged Stalker-Ladies

As Dad got older, the pool of eligible husbands got smaller, and some of the interested single ladies were more assertive in making their interests known. OK, truth, at least one of these women was a stalker. Letters. Phone calls. Notes on his door. Showing up at his church and accidentally sitting in the same pew. If smart phones had been invented back then, this dear lady's number would have been blocked. Bless her heart.

A man in uniform. Who can resist?

Dad was eating lunch with Ivan one day at The San, and he explained his predicament. "This women left another note on my door. What's a fellow to do?"

Ivan said, "I've got two single, pretty sisters-in-law. Which one do you want to meet?"

I know this is what he said, because in the last few years of his life, Uncle Ivan had a smart phone, and he knew how to use it. He liked to call and tell me this story. If I wasn't available to take his call, he would leave the story in a message. Uncle Ivan's wife and my mother were sisters. They are all up on Mt. Scott now, and I really miss Ivan's phone calls.

Mom grew up in Portland and went to college in Walla Walla, Washington. She was ten years younger than Dad, but by the time they were 36 and 46 the age difference was no longer unsuitable.

According to a reliable source, she was engaged once, but it didn’t work out. She never mentioned this to me, but I do have an odd letter to Mom from an unknown person where the topic appears to be mentioned, carefully, in code. This was done on purpose, no doubt, in case a future snoopy daughter ever went through Mom's things.

Shirley Olson, a pretty lady, and not at all ignorant.

The version of the story I heard was this: She was engaged to a pre-med student, or was it a ministry major? Anyway, she went home with him to visit his parents one weekend, and when they got back, the wedding was off, but she didn’t ever say why. Hm. Mum’s the word.

When Ivan decided to play matchmaker, Mom was teaching elementary school in Condon, Oregon, so I guess she and Dad had a long distance courtship. Like Dad, it took Mom a while to get through college. She went through a two year program, then taught in a rural school where several grades were all in one room. She saved her teaching money, then returned to college to finish her bachelors degree.

When your parents are teachers, your English gets corrected on a regular basis, for all the good it did. Dad once corrected one of my letters home from college, in red pen, with circles and notes. Then he mailed it back. It was meant as a joke, I think, probably.

The Wedding

Bill and Shirley got married on Ivan's birthday, June, 2 1958, at Mt. Tabor Seventh-day Adventist Church. Ivan was the best man. Here they are. Ivan is fixing Dad's bow tie.

Ivan Whitehouse. Bill Carver. Bill's wedding 06/02/1958.

I shouldn't make fun of my family, but if I don't, somebody else will. What do you think of my step-grandmother's outfit? This cracks me up. It's not her fault. She was a slave to fashion. (My kids do the same thing to me when they see pictures from the 1980's. Can't imagine why.)



Elmer and Lorena Olson. Shirley and Bill Carver. 06/02/1958.

The Family

Bill and Shirley lived in the Portland area from 1957 to 1979. I was born in 1959. My brother was adopted in 1966. Here we are in 1969. I guess bow ties were still in style, and what was going on up there in my bangs?

Bill, Shirley, Nancy, David Carver. 1969.

David William Carver was wild and sweet and funny and cute. He was killed in an accident in 1971 at the age of five. He had just gotten his first pair of bell bottom pants, and we were coming off of a rollicking summer where we spent plenty of time running through the sprinkler in the lawn out back of the house. I was teaching him how to hit a softball. He had to choke up on the bat, but we were making progress. It was a privilege to have him as a brother, and I'm grateful for those five fun-filled years.

Losing him was very hard on my parents. I look back on the earlier generations and note how often they lost children. Dad says his mother was inconsolable after her son Ralph died, and then later two more of her children died of influenza on the same day. My mother's parents lost their first baby after just a few days and little John Thomas when he was just a toddler.  My heart goes out to all the parents, but I also admire their fortitude. They kept on. They took care of the rest of the kids. They survived.

Later On

In 1978 I decided to go to college in Tennessee. It was a long way from Portland, and I wanted to see another part of the country, so it sounded perfect. I would have moved back home after a couple of years, most likely, but the next year Mom and Dad decided to sell the house and move to Tennessee as well.

I think they needed the fresh start, to move away from the memories. They lived there for a number of years and had a great time exploring all the states on that side of the country. They drove to Florida, Alabama, Louisiana, Washington DC. They had more energy than I'd seen in a long time, more interest in life. I think these were good years for both of them.

Bull and Shirley Carver, 1981, Collegedale, TN

In 1984 they stopped to visit me in Atlanta, taking some time to play with their new grandson, who was three months old. They were headed to the mid-west to visit family and friends. In Topeka, Kansas on a dark rainy evening they got lost, and Dad pulled out in front of oncoming traffic. The police report says visibility was very poor, if that's any consolation. It wasn't much consolation to Dad.

We lost Mom that day, Friday, October 5, 1984. It was instant, and she felt no pain, nor do we think she had time to know anything was wrong, so we did find consolation in that. Dad was in intensive care in Topeka for a few days. Dad's brother Bob and wife Mildred drove down to stay with him, along with their daughter Betty. They were a great comfort.

Dad was resilient. He had a tough childhood by all accounts, yet when he told stories about his childhood, he always managed to find positive stories to tell. His nieces and nephews tell me that he was a cheerful young man. Several describe him as their favorite uncle. And after Mom died, he missed her very much, but he didn't wither away.

He stayed in touch with his church family, spent time with his grandchildren, and corresponded with relatives. He went to the local elementary school and told the children stories.

And, yes, once again several single ladies were very interested. But he shook his head and said, "A fellow will probably be in diapers pretty soon. One shouldn't marry under those circumstances."

He passed away in 1998 at the age of 88. Here he is with my kids in 1993. They adored their Grandpa, and he was pretty fond of them.

Bill Carver with grandchildren, 1993, Collegedale, TN

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